Trump Grants Himself Presidential Pardon From Twitter

By Scott Slute

Washington - During his final hours as president, Trump did something never done before by a US President and granted a presidential pardon to himself. Moments before Secret Service forcibly dragged him out of the Oval Office by his earlobe, Trump signed a Presidential Pardon for himself, which granted him an immediate release from Twitter jail.

After having his account reinstated, Trump went right back to tweeting by congratulating himself and alluding to a presidential run in 2024. The president also took the time to tweet an ominous message to president-elect Joe Biden.

The move is unprecedented and the first time a US president has used a self-pardon. Political experts were caught off-guard by the move, and also questioned why the president only pardoned himself on Twitter.

“Of all the potential crimes he could have preemptively pardoned himself for, it seems very strange he only cared about getting back on Twitter,” said CNN’s White House Correspondent Kaitlin Collins, “I mean, last week alone he incited a riot in Washington and attempted to lead an insurrection. But wow, he really only cares about tweeting I guess.”

Many top officials are calling on Twitter to overturn the president’s pardon, claiming that as a private entity, Trump does not have the authority to release himself from Twitter jail.

“I know it seems crazy, but unfortunately our hands are tied and we have to let him back on,” said Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey, “If the last two decades have shown us anything it’s that the President of the United States has an alarming level of totalitarian control and apparently that includes Twitter. Who knew!”

Supports of the president, and fans of general chaos, are excited to watch the president completely melt down over the social media platform during Wednesday’s inauguration.

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold