China Pledges To Send Covid To Internment Camps Ahead Of Winter Olympics

By Keith Graham

Beijing - Citing growing International concern about the increasing cases of Covid in Beijing ahead of the 2022 Winter Olympics, China has promised to crackdown on the virus, pledging to send it to one of it’s many Uyghur Internment camps in Mongolia and North Korea.

At a press conference, Chinese Olympic Chairman Gou Zhongwen said he is aware of the concern about the spread of the Omicron virus within Beijing, and assured everyone that the virus will not be a problem when the Olympics start.

“We have become very adept at correcting various issues. Whether you’re a member of an ethnic Turkic minority, a female tennis player lofting poorly construed accusations, or a pesky respiratory virus…we will deal with you” Zhongwen stated.

When asked by a New York Times reporter to address the plight of the Uyghur who are being systematically murdered in what can only be described as a genocide, Zhongwen loosened his collar before throwing a smoke-bomb into the press gallery and escaping out of a nearby window.

The Beijing Winter Olympics are expected to draw hundreds of thousands of tourists into China, many of whom can expect to have their phones bugged, or loved ones arbitrarily thrown into various gulags.

In a related note Chinese President Xi Jinping praised the work of the Chinese Olympic Committee and IOC while promising to crackdown on anyone mentioning the words Hong Kong, Tiananmen Square, Democracy, or genocide. Adding, “The sheer ineptitude of the International Olympic Committee will ensure that these Olympics and our continued dedication to genocide will be a great success”.

Keith Graham is a contributing author at The Toronto Harold and is NOT a fake name.