Edmonton Eskimos Proudly Declare Themselves “North America’s Most Problematic Football Team”

By Scott Slute

Edmonton - After the Washington Redskins officially announced their name change to the Washington Warriors this weeks, the Alberta-based team is now proudly referring to themselves as “The Most Racist Football Team in the World”.

The team announced via their Twitter account last week that they had been consulting with Inuit communities and concluded the name was not racist. The team said that they absolutely definitely did do a lot of research that totally for real happened, and the decision to commit to using the racial slur as their team name has absolutely nothing to do with upsetting their racist, right-leaning, Albertan fan base if they did change it.

The team in fact doubled-down on the racism, and announced that for the upcoming season, they would be unveiling a new new mascot named Officer Toby. Officer Toby is an RCMP officer who will accompany current mascot Nanook around the stadium, standing 10 feet behind him at all times with his tiny mascot hand permanently affixed to his holstered baton.

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold