Canadian Governemnt Just Assuming All Babies Belong To Drake Until Proven Otherwise

Ottawa - Stats Canada has released a statement that moving forward Toronto-rapper Drake will be considered the father of every baby born in Canada until proven otherwise. The decision comes amidst the ongoing rap beef Drake finds himself embroiled in with California-rapper Kendrick Lamar, the latter of whom accused Drake of having a secret 11 year old daughter. “The reality is until we receive a paternity test, we have to assume the possibility that every baby was fathered by Drake,” stated André Loranger, Chief Statistician of Canada, “It isn’t impossible, especially if the child’s mother is kinda bhad.” There’s been no word yet on how involved Drake will be in proving he is not the father of every baby in the country, but he has stated he is willing to cooperate fully.