CBC Agrees To Fair And Balanced Coverage of Leafs-Habs Series

By Scott Slute

Toronto - Following a decades long conflict between the two teams, the nationally funded broadcaster has finally agreed to fairly cover both sides of the on-going playoff series, after a petition was signed by thousands of Canadian journalists. 

The CBC has been accused in the past of holding a pro-Leafs stance, while painting the Montreal Canadians in an unfair light; oftentimes ignoring the struggle of the Quebec team entirely. 

“We recognize that in previous playoff series between the two teams, our coverage could have been interpreted as being biased towards Leafs fans,” a spokesperson for the CBC stated, “However we acknowledge now that both teams kind of suck, and their fan bases have equally struggled for decades.”

To appease Habs supporters, the broadcaster promised they would mention “The Hockey Sweater” a minimum of once every five minutes. Montreal fans agreed this was a step in the right direction of acknowledging their oppression. 

“We asked for the CBC to offer balanced coverage of the Israel-Palestine conflict what the fuck is this,” a recently fired CBC war reporter tells us. 

The CBC reminded Canadians you could catch Game 4 of the series tonight at 7:30PM followed by The National where you could watch fair and balanced coverage of global events and various other talking points handed to them by the federal government. 

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold