Top Doctor Says If Everyone Promises To Not Go To The Hospital We Can Keep Eating Nachos Inside

Toronto - As Ontario seemingly enters into a new wave of Covid-19, Chief Medical Officer Dr Kieran Moore has stated that public health restrictions could be brought back if hospitals become overwhelmed again. Dr Moore is recommending that to avoid that people just “stop going to the hospital for dumb shit”.

“We need to make sure our hospitals are able to handle the rise of Covid patients, which starts with Ontarians not wasting doctors’ time with your dumb problems. Most broken fingers can be remedied at home,” stated Moore, “It’s actually surprisingly easy to reset bones, just look it up on Youtube.”

Moore says he hasn’t ruled out bringing back such restrictions as making people eat food outside, and encouraging gym-goers to remove their masks while exercising and breathing heavily but forcing them to put them on while wandering around the gym floor.

Ontario resident are currently being advised by Moore to simply Google “will this kill me if left untreated?” before driving themselves to the hospital.