Deputy Mayor Insists Golf Courses Are Safe to Reopen Because 'Everyone Who Still Isn't Vaccinated Is Also Poor'

By Dan Pearce

Etobicoke - City councilor Stephen Holyday has written an open letter to Premier Doug Ford, asking Ford to raise lock down restrictions for Canada's national pass time: golf. And tennis. Apparently.  

“Not all sports have the same risks” said Holyday, “Especially not sports which are typically enjoyed by those of us who live in a higher tax bracket. We're all vaccinated, so what's the big deal?” 

Deputy Mayor Holyday went on to specify that he's not a lunatic, and of course we will maintain closures on sports enjoyed by unvaccinated poor people, such as street hockey, basketball and jogging at night.

Premier Ford still has not responded to Holyday's open letter because Premier Ford has not been seen since this morning. He left a note behind on his desk which read 'hitting the links.'

Dan Pearce is a contributing writer for The Toronto Harold. Dan can be found on both Twitter and Instagram @danfromlinkedin.