‘No Name’ Develops New Budget Friendly COVID-19 Vaccine

By Scott Slute

Toronto - The iconic generic brand No Name announced this morning they will be releasing their own version of the COVID-19 vaccine. No Name, a subsidiary of Loblaws, says their vaccine will use all of the same active ingredients as the Pfizer vaccine, but without the big name brand pricing.

“We understand that this pandemic has caused a lot of financial stress in Canadians,” said No Name CEO Bob Loblaw, “Which is why we’re thrilled to announce we will be able to vaccinate Canadians who are on a budget.”

The rollout of the new and affordable vaccine means that Canadians can expect to be vaccinated earlier than expected.

“Friends, this is very exciting news,” said Ontario Premier Doug Ford, “From the beginning of this pandemic, I’ve been very clear that I am willing to do whatever it takes to flatten the curve as long as it wasn’t going to cost me very much. With this new, affordable No Name vaccine, I’ll no longer have to lie when I say we’re trying to vaccinate as many Ontarians as possible.”

The vaccine will be rolling out in No Frills across the country some time this month. It will be found in aisle 5 past the ketchup but before the Swiffer replacement pads. The reported cost will be $2.88, and seniors will be able to save an additional 10% if they purchase the vaccine on Tuesday.

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold