“Don’t Put It In Your Mouth” Re-Airing To Remind Adults Not To Lick Subway Polls

By Scott Slute

Toronto - As the province prepares to reopen, the Premier’s office announced today they will be re-airing the classic 90’s PSA “Don’t Put It In Your Mouth” to remind adults not to lick things while out in public.

The commercial, which originally featured two rejected-Muppets informing children not to consume any object without parental permission, will now also remind fully grown adults with jobs and homes to refrain from licking any part of a public transit vehicle. 

The puppets, two unidentifiable blue creatures who look like they could have also escaped from a secret laboratory in Wuhan, chant a disturbing and off-key chorus of “You could get sick, real quick,” reminding viewers the repercussions of running your tongue along a streetcar seat during a pandemic.  

The ad comes as a response to New York-based Youtube prankster Zeeshan Ali, who gained notoriety after a video of him licking an MTA subway poll went viral last month. Ali was declared dead eight days ago from COVID related complications.

The premier’s office wanted to also remind the public that it isn’t just the parts of buses and subways that should be kept out of your mouth, but pretty much anything you might stumble upon while outside. 

“Despite declining number’s of COVID-19 cases and loosening of stay-at-home protocol, we would like to remind Ontarians that it is still not advisable to be putting things you find on the ground into your mouth,” said Ontario’s Minister of Health Christine Elliot. 

“This includes, but isn’t limited to, the counter at Starbucks, lone pieces of fruit you find on the sidewalk, and half-finished bottles of bourbon offered to you by strangers in the park. We would also like to strongly discourage taking a bite out of a dark chocolate covered almond and then putting it back into the Bulk Barrel bin after deciding it is too bitter for you,” Elliot stated.    

The premier’s office would like to encourage online users to engage in more wholesome pranks such as dressing up as Batman and yelling “my parents are dead!” at strangers, or Canada’s favorite prank of jumping out from behind a bush and frightening francophones.  

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold