Ontario's Top Doctor Admits He Kinda Forgot COVID Still A Thing

By Gabriel Venneri

Toronto - In his first press conference in four weeks, Ontario’s Chief Medical Officer Dr. Kieran Moore told reporters that he completely forgot that the COVID-19 pandemic is still happening.

“Honestly after we lifted vaccine and masking mandates, I kinda checked out. I mean, yeah I was still aware of the pandemic but then the wastewater department took over and I just assumed my job was done. By the way, shout out to the wastewater surveillance department, they’re killing it over there. What are we up to, like 100 000 cases a day? Man that’s crazy, I had no idea.”

The Chief Medical Officer also repeatedly referred to Doug Ford as “Mayor Ford”. When he was corrected to refer to him as the Premier, Dr. Moore responded by saying “Wait he had a brother? And we elected him to run the entire province? That’s messed up, what is wrong with Ontario?”

When asked if he had any plans to reinstate masking mandates Dr. Moore said “Nah. Unless the wastewater people think we should. They’re way more on top of this than I am.”

Dr. Moore expects the sixth wave to settle down around the end of May, or whenever he’s scheduled to return from his month long boys trip to Cabo.

Gabriel Venneri is a contributing writer at The Toronto Harold. You can find him on Instagram at @gabevenn