Toronto Men Practice “I’m Interested In Seeing The Cherry Blossoms” Face

By Andrew Scott

North York - The arrival of warmer weather to Toronto signals a ritual as perennial as the flower they celebrate: the evolutionary appropriate and widespread practice of middle-aged married men staring intently into the bathroom mirror and practicing their most earnest “I’m really interested in seeing the cherry blossoms with you” face.

According to Andrew Wilson, father of three and long-time husband of flower enthusiast and Awesome Blossom mommy blogger Heather Eastman, “I really wanted to get a head start on things this year and have been getting up an hour earlier since late February in order to practice my concerned ‘we only have a two-week window to see them’ face and to ensure that my worried glabellar lines are properly creviced and furrowed.” 

Speaking quickly and quietly to take advantage of the rare time that he has to himself before Heather finishes her daily 25-minutes on the Peloton, Wilson continues, “Heather is really good at seeing right through my feigned interest,” citing the payback that resulted from when he was caught sneaking a peek at the hockey highlights on his phone during last year’s Brené Brown lecture, “And I want to ensure that when it turns out that I can’t make it to High Park in early May, I look convincingly despondent.”

Andrew Scott is a musician and writer who lives in Toronto in a house amongst children, antiquated technology of yesteryear and many, many instruments. Instagram, writing, poetry, more poetry.