Five Ways To Survive Thanksgiving With Your Family

By Clare Mooney

Thanksgiving weekend is just around the corner, so here are the top five ways you can make spending time with your family slightly more enjoyable:

1. Bring Your Significant Other

Having someone to follow you around all day can make the whole weekend smoother, and it’s a guarantee that your family will love who you bring around. Make sure to bring up their tattoos and that time they got arrested a few years back.

2. Hang Out With Your High School Friends

Being home makes for a great opportunity to reconnect with old friends. Forget the past mistakes. Reach out to Jessica, who hit you with her car, or Jake, who cheated on you!

3. Try To Fix Your Family

It’s a known fact that everyone is open to hearing out new opinions, especially when it comes to politics. Ask grandma her opinions on abortion and try to change her mind! Nothing wrong with a little bit of dinnertime debate.

4. Have a Few Cocktails

Everything is a bit more fun with some drinks involved, so feel free to get loose. Try to keep pace with your alcoholic Uncle Steve, even if you end the night over the toilet!

5. Wear A Buttplug

Nothing adds to an evening like a little bit of pleasure. Stick that thing in before you head over and enjoy! No one will notice a thing!

Clare Mooney is a contributing writer at The Toronto Harold.