Ford Urges Ontario To Give Up Kangaroo Search While Donning Kangaroo-Themed Bib

By Connor O’Brie

Etobicoke - Ontario Premier Doug Ford is urging residents to give up the hunt for the kangaroo that escaped the Oshawa Zoo, insisting that after three days it has to be long gone by now.

"It’s no use folks. We can’t find the darn thing anywhere so we better just stop looking" the premier said while drooling on his novelty kangaroo bib during an emergency press conference held outside his Etobicoke home.

The rogue kangaroo was last spotted heading south west, with many believing it was heading to Etobicoke. Following his press conference, Ford heading back into his west-end backyard where a large barbecue smoke plume could be seen and was heard shouting “It tastes just like venison!”