Ghoulish-Looking Donald Trump Still Claims Taking Hydroxychloroquine Is Definitely A Great Idea

Washington - While speaking at the White House, a blood-shot eyed Donald Trump doubled down and said he still thought it was a great idea for him to be taking the malaria and lupus medication hydroxychloroquine.

Trump, who’s blue lips resembled that of someone who was lacking adequate oxygen in their blood, reassured reporters that he was experiencing zero side effects from taking a drug that has proven to only be effective in combating non-COVID related ailments.

“I’ve been taking it for almost two weeks now and I feel great. It’s been a great two weeks for me, some say the best two weeks. I feel great,” said Trump, who’s skin had noticeably faded from its natural bright orange complexion to a pale, decaying grey. 

“Many great, great people are taking it. You’d be surprised how many great people are taking it. Lots of great doctors, lots of great frontline workers. Many, many great frontline workers all taking it. All great people taking it,” Trump told reporters as blood slowly dripped out of his eyeballs. 

The drug has shown no evidence that it combats coronavirus or boosts immunity, however sales of hydroxychloroquine have been proven to boost the stock portfolio of Trump, who is an investor in the drug.

When asked what evidence he had that taking such large doses hydroxychloroquine was beneficial to combating COVID-19, the president responded: “Here’s my evidence. I get a lot of calls about it. Next question.” 

Trump then attempted to take a sip of water which he held with both hands, however was unable to as the water kept dripping out of a fairly sizable hole in his jaw that had developed over the course of the press conference. 

Unfortunately, Trump was unable to take more questions; while pointing at a reporter his finger fell off and the press conference had to be cut short.

Moments after the now-limp president was dragged off-stage, Mike Pence returned to collect the president’s dislodged finger. He took the time to reassure everyone that although many White House staffers had tested positive for the virus, both he and the 73 year old Trump, who is still subsisting off fast food alone, were in tiptop physical health.