Ontario Man Plays Record Setting 43 Rounds Of Golf To Avoid Spending Any More Time At Home With His Family
By Scott Slute
Richmond Hill - As the first stage of Ontario’s reopening plan is now underway, a local man has accidentally set a new world record after playing 43 rounds of golf in a single day citing that he, quite simply, could not spend any more time at home with his wife and kids.
Vaughan-resident Tony Bucco set the new world record well playing at the Richmond Hill Golf Club, in his first official outing since being locked down in his house on March 16th with his wife and three children. Prior to this, Bucco’s main sources of quarantine entertainment included sitting in the garage hoping his wife didn’t think to look for him there, and being forced to watch his daughter Lily do the same Tik Tok dance for the eleventh time that day.
Bucco says he didn’t intend to set the record when he left his home at 6:04 AM on Saturday morning. However, after finishing the first round, he remembered that if he went home now then he would still be subjected to a full day of his 9 year old son Marco following him around the house asking him all kinds of stupid questions like how clouds work. He decided to play one more round.
“After finishing the second round, I remembered my 13 year old daughter Arianna had started, uh, well, you know, the uh…” Bucco tells us while awkwardly diverting eye contact, “I didn’t wanna have to hear about that, her mother should deal with those kind of things. So I decided to play just one more round. Ya know for their sake.”
This would happened 41 more times.
“When I got to the fourth hole for the third time, I realized that noise in the distance was birds chirping and not one of my kids playing Fortnite,” Bucco tells us, “I had forgotten what silence sounded like. I broke down and wept. I probably could have gotten in a 44th round if I didn’t cry so much in that moment.”
Bucco, who’s 43 rounds of golf works out to an astounding 774 holes, beats out previous record holder Ben Berger, who played 612 holes in 16 hours. Berger, however, said he did it for the love of the sport, unlike Bucco who said he did it because the thought of going home to his family caused him to dissociate and spiral violently out of control.
The new world record holder tells us that during these stay-at-home orders, this hadn’t been the first time he looked for an excuse not to go home.
“Sometimes when I would go on my weekly outing to get groceries, instead of going home I would just sit in my car and stare at the parking garage wall for 3 hours and fantasize about getting a one bedroom condo downtown and just never going back to my family. Start a new life where I could finally poop in peace without someone banging on the door asking me if I knew where the Nutella was. The pantry. Obviously in the pantry. Why would Nutella be anywhere other than the pantry?”
Several onlookers at the course were stunned and amazed by Mr Bucco’s feat.
“After I saw him play his fifth round in a row, I asked him if he was maybe confused about how golf works,” said Gus, an employee of the Richmond Hill course, “But when I looked in his eyes I saw the shell of a man who’d been forced to only have conversations with his preteen children for 9 weeks. I knew this was the first time he’d felt true joy in months. It was just beautiful to see.”
Bucco’s wife Cynthia, was elated when she heard the news.
“Oh Christ it was the best news I’ve heard in months. Almost 18 hours I didn’t have to see him! I actually got to sit outside and read my book in peace. It was glorious,” Mrs Bucco tells us, “I went out today and bought him a membership to the club. You think it’s been a treat for me being locked up with him? I challenged him to play 48 rounds next time.”
As Ontario continues to reopen and more dads are finally allowed to get away from their families for short periods of time, Bucco’s record is expected to be broken very soon.
Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold.