Government Officials Remind Canadians To Wash Hands, Maintain Social Distance and To Not Post Their Depressing Lockdown Meals On Instagram

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By Scott Slute

Ottawa - With many parts of the province in a modified Stage 2, residents are being reminded that the best ways to stop the spread of COVID-19 was to continue social distancing, wear a mask in public, and not posting pictures of your disgusting, ugly meals you made onto social media.  

“We understand that with all the new closures many of you have a lot of free time and are spending it honing your cooking skills,” said Dr Theresa Tam, “But we need to remind all Canadians that you are not professional cooks, and forcing people to look at a picture of your fish sticks with a glass of milk you’re having for dinner is really just bumming everyone out.”

Tam pulled up a diagram showing how when someone starts scrolling through Instagram in public and stumbles across a picture of a microwaved chicken parmesan with a side of boiled carrots, it will cause them to let out a very disgruntled sigh which can spread COVID-19 particles up to 15 feet.  

As the second wave of coronavirus continues many Canadians report feeling an overwhelming sense of dread when they open up Instagram, saying they use social media as a means to escape the horrors of the real world. But with a second wave of people posting their depressing lockdown meals to Instagram, social media has now become a place of equal horrors.

“I’ve seen so many of my friends post these sad, pathetic meals on Instagram lately that it has me deeply concerned about their mental state,” says 27 year old Taylor Hughes of Toronto, “Even worse, I have this one friend who started this really shitty satire blog back in April, and as the city starts to lockdown again he’s been getting a lot more active with it. It’s very disturbing and troubling to see.”

Tam told Canadians that posting only pictures of dogs in silly costumes is the best way to help stop the spread of the virus.

Residents were also reminded that ordering sushi was not a skill, so there was no need to post a picture of that either. Everyone loves sushi, it’s delicious, you are not special, please also stop posting pictures of that.

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold

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