“No One In Toronto Wants To See You Win,” Declares Man Who’s Bad At What He Does

Toronto - “This city is rooting against you,” says 36 year old open mic comedian Bryce Harper. The self-declared artist who’s been doing the same 5 minute set for the last two years, comprised mostly of a bit about toilet paper etiquette, tells us that it’s hard to succeed in his field because everyone around him wants to see him fail. “You can never get ahead in Toronto because once you think your about to succeed, someone is there to tell you ‘No’. You can’t trust anyone here. Friends, family. Every day I hear ‘You are really bad at this please go back to your career in finance your savings account is almost empty we love you but you are not funny.” But I just stay hustling.” Bryce then had to leave to hand out flyers on a corner for 6 hours so he could get stage time to work on his new bit about how dogs don’t practice social distancing.