Hungry Protestors Soften Loblaws Boycott To Allow For Consumption Of President’s Choice Decadent Chocolate Chip Cookies

By Andrew Scott

Culture - One day into a month-long boycott of Loblaw-owned grocery brands and stores, protest leaders have tempered their otherwise tough stance on the grocery conglomerate by allowing boycotting former customers to continue purchasing the merchant’s famous 300-gram bags of Decadent Chocolate Chip Cookies.

“It’s all about balance,” states Toronto boycott organizer Steve Tyson, speaking from his Christie Pits-area home with the telltale crumbs of the delicious Loblaws confectionery clearly visible in his slightly graying beard. “Times are tough for everyone, and we have decided that we can still send a clear message to the powers that be without denying ourselves the supreme mouth pleasure that comes from indulging in such a creamy, buttery, and chocolatey treat.”

While similar requests were tabled to allow for the inclusion of both PC’s White Cheddar Deluxe Macaroni & Cheese Dinner and Extra Chunky Medium Salsa, boycott organizers denied the appeal calling for month-long boycott vigilance.