Local Child Suspects Dufferin Mall Santa Might Not Be The Real Santa

By Scott Slute

Parkdale - The magic of Christmas may be fading for one local child, as she’s pretty confident the man who smells like Pall Malls sitting in the middle of Dufferin Mall probably isn’t actually Santa Claus.

9 year old Kyla Browne was all set to head to the mall this Saturday to take her yearly photos with Santa. Having recently moved from the downtown core to a house in Parkdale, Kyla’s parents decided to take her to the local Dufferin Mall. Unfortunately for Kyla, the quality of Santa didn’t meet her usual standards.

Santa’s court-appointed helpers directed Kyla towards a semi-conscious man who may or may not be employed by the mall. Upon seeing him, Kyla yelled “Hi Santa!” to which the man responded “Who?” It was at this point Kyla began to doubt this was the real Santa Claus.

“I became suspicious when Santa didn’t have a sleigh, or his Santa suit, and his ankle kept beeping,” Kyla tells us, “And I really didn’t think he was the real Santa when he started drinking my Dad’s ‘special Saturday night pop’ during the photo.”

Santa then proceeded to lay down on the floor of his “workshop” to take a magical Christmas nap for the rest of the afternoon.

At press time, a representative from the mall was asked how this mall Santa was hired, to which the rep responded “what Santa?”

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold