The Harold’s Middle-Aged Intern In Montreal Prepares For Inevitable Victory/Defeat Riot

By Paul Dudar and Connor O'Brien

Montreal - "I've been preparing for this my entire life and finally it's happening," said Harold Middle-Aged Intern Connor as he polished his antique Shellie. "This was handed to me by my father and his father before him who stole it from a derelict in the old country."

For years, our Montreal-based middle-aged intern has been preparing for the inevitable destruction brought about by a sporting event in the Quebecois town. "I knew holding onto these rotten watermelons would come in handy one day," said Connor as he carried the rotten fruit to the edge of his 14th-floor balcony.

"WIN OR LOSE! CONNOR GETS A NEW LAPTOP!" Connor shouted at nobody in particular. "Fetch my kimono of WAR! LIGHT THE FIRES, BOYS!" Our intern then started painting his face with those smelly markers you remember from grade school.

At press time, Connor was seen dozing off during the first period and this reporter predicts the little guy will sleep straight until the morning. Sources close to Connor revealed, "...after a long day of planning horrible tricks the little prince tired himself out and couldn't make it past 8:30 pm."