“I’ll never take the AstraZeneca vaccine,” Says Man Who Doesn’t Actually Know What A Blood Clot Is

Science - A local man, who has never read a science journal in his life, stated today there’s no chance he will be taking the “dangerous” and “untested” vaccine for fear of the potential side-effects he doesn’t really understand. 

With concerns about the safety of the AstraZeneca vaccine continuing to be raised by health officials around the world, 32 year old Tyler DiSanto says he’d rather risk getting COVID than deal with the side-effects of the AstraZeneca vaccine, whatever they are exactly.

“Oh bud, look it up, that thing is dangerous as hell,” DiSanto told us, “I’m not against vaccines at all, but this one gives you blood clots! And those are bad! I’m talking real bad. I know like three girls who got them from their birth control. Bad stuff!”

When our reporter asked what exactly a blood clot was, DiSanto had this to say, “Oh it’s real bad. Real bad. It’s when like, your blood, gets bad. It makes it, thick? Look I don’t need to be a scientist to know it’s way worse than having COVID.” 

And despite a new study from the University of Oxford showing the risk of developing blood clots is eight to 10 times higher in people with COVID-19 than in those who have been vaccinated, DiSanto still isn’t willing to take that risk. 

“If Doug Ford comes rolling through my neighbourhood in his VaxMobile, he better bring me the Pfizer or Moderna,” DiSanto said, “Because there’s no way I’m gonna be the second person in Canada to get blood clots from the AstraZeneca. 

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold