Hot Dog Consumption Amongst Millennials Surges After New Study Claims Eating One Takes 36 Minutes Off Your Life

Food - Defeated by the prospect of never owning a house after inheriting a failed economy? Try eating a hot dog so you can get this ride over with sooner!

A study from the University of Michigan suggests that eating one hot dog takes 36 minutes off your life. What a delicious way to go when you compare it to being evaporated in nuclear warfare with China!

The study, which was published earlier this week, has resulted in a massive rise in popularity of the meat product amongst Millennials and Gen Z’s. Good news for the meat tube producers.

“I’m definitely not suicidal, but I’m just kinda over all of this. Plus, these are way tastier than cigarettes,” 31 year old Todd Holmes tells us, “I’m trying to eat 40 hot dogs today, thats equal to one full day!”

Those under 40 are now racing to see if their hot dog consumption can’t put pace the impending climate disaster for the reason they don’t make it to their 70’s.