Ford To Sell Entire Province To Highest Bidder

Queen’s Park - Following plans to both develop parts of the greenbelt and allow privatized surgeries, Premier Ford has announced his next big deal will be to put the entire province of Ontario up for sale.

“This is going to be a record deal, unlike anything of it’s kind,” stated Ford, “For just $500 million one lucky investor or privatized firm can have an entire province to do whatever they want with. Folks, this is a great deal you don’t want to miss out on.”

Ford suggested Ontario’s new owners could build more houses, burn everything down and start from scratch, or turn Algonquin Park into the world’s biggest mall. Ford noted that whatever they do choose to do, it will be their problem now.

Ford urged any interested buyers act quickly. Minutes after announcing the sale of the province the premier stated he already had many interested buyers,“…who I just met this morning,” he quickly added.