Local Cat Will Fucking Kill You If You Scritch His Belly One More Time

Etobicoke - Despite thoroughly enjoying the first 12 belly rubs he received, Gus has now made it very clear if you even so much as look at his big ol’ belly he’s going to rip your goddamn eyes out of their sockets.

“Things were going so well at first,” said Gus’s owner Charles, a 32 year old hair dressers assistant, “He rolled over to expose his big cat belly. I started giving him nice scratches which he loved. Then something switched and he started to bite and scratch me.”

Local authorities say Gus’s behaviour and swift mood shifts were not unusual for the big temperamental goofball. Just last week, the 7 year old cat wanted more than anything to enter Charles’s bathroom, but as soon as he got inside he wanted to leave immediately.

Gus was unavailable for comment on the incident as he was occupied demanding his already full food bowl be refilled.