Local Dad Woke Up At 4AM For Some Reason

“Daylight savings? More like you’re daylight LOSING out on this beautiful morning by staying in bed!”

By Scott Slute

Oakville - Despite the clocks going back last night and most people losing an hour out of their day, this dad didn’t miss the opportunity to remind you that he’s definitely better than you for only requiring five hours of sleep.

“Are you just waking up now?,” 59 year old Anthony Grossi asked the rest of his family at 8:37 AM, “I swept the deck, changed my oil and power-washed the driveway all before sunrise! You look like you could use some coffee. I’ve already had three cups!”

Anthony plans to spend the rest of the day reminding his family how much he accomplished in the first three hours of the day while the rest of them slept. He also tells us that later this afternoon after cracking open a few brews, he might make subtle jabs at his 26 year old daughter for having to move back home after being laid off due to the ongoing pandemic.

Early reports say that Anthony plans to “hit the hay” around 7:45 tonight, not because he woke up at an obscenely early time for no reason today, he just wants to.

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold