NASA Scientists Discover Queen Street West Brandy Melville Lineup Is Visible From Outer Space

By Rebecca McLaren

Toronto – On the tails of launching NOAA’s newest Geostationary Operational Environmental Satellite, NASA scientists have made a shocking – yet entirely predictable – announcement: the never-ending lineup stationed outside of Queen Street’s Brandy Melville storefront is discernible from outer space. 

NASA claims its team wasn’t looking for the lineup when the revolutionary discovery was made.

“The initial purpose of this satellite was to monitor hazardous weather and environmental conditions in the Western Hemisphere,” shares one of NASA’s leading scientists, Chuck Uranus. “Little did we know that human hazards, such as densely populated lineups of sorority girls, would become the most urgent threats we’d need to begin monitoring for.”

In a satellite image taken approximately 36,000KM above the Earth’s surface, a sea of Aritzia Super Puff jackets is clearly visible in front of the 326 Queen Street West location.

On the ground, Brandy Melville lineup members appeared mostly unphased by the news. Sara, who was 32nd in line at the time of our interview, believes “that sucks.” Sarah with an H, who camped in line the night prior, admits she “doesn’t really care TBH.” Both Sara and Sarah with an H’s boyfriends, who were forcibly brought into the line against their will, refused to comment.

In the next year, NASA plans to monitor the lineup’s movement over time to determine the adverse effect it has had on the Earth’s tidal patterns.

Rebecca McLaren is a Toronto-based PR professional who writes about serious business matters by day. If her coworkers find this, they will be very confused. (Instagram: @babygotbecs)