New Report Claims TVO Has Adult Programming

By Scott Slute

Toronto - A study out of Ryerson University has revealed that the beloved Ontario children’s television network actually has a lot adult programming, apparently.

The new study boldly claims that outside of Arthur, The Magic School Bus and Peppa Pig, the publicly funded TV channel also allegedly boasts an array of docuseries, scripted dramas, and current affairs programs.   

“We’re as stunned be these findings as you are,” said head researcher for the study Dr Harrison Roude, “For years I too was under the impression that the sole purpose of TVO was to confuse Ontario’s children as to what exactly PVA glue was while they watched Art Attack.” 

The report even uncovered what some researchers are referring to as an “almost kinda popular” adult program titled The Agenda With Steven Paikin. The program is a long-form talkshow featuring a panel of guests discussing several topics. The show is most famous for giving a platform to the late Jordan Peterson, the controversial Canadian psychologist who passed away in Moscow earlier this year.

“I actually seem to recall the most boring person in my dorm always showing us YouTube clips from that show during first year,” said research assistant Adeel Soomro, “I thought it was just the mushrooms, but no apparently I watched a lot of this show. Wild!” 

TVO has confirmed the new findings, and took the opportunity to announce a brand new adult program starring the Kratt Brothers. The brothers are most famous for their educational nature shows intended for children, including Zoboomafoo and Kratt’s Creatures. The new show, titled Kratt’s Revenge, features Martin going on a murderous rampage across the sub-Sahara attempting to track down and kill the lion who ate Chris. 

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold