Ontario Will Allow Restaurants To Reopen Under Strict New “Bring Your Own Meal” Guidelines

By Scott Slute

Toronto - As Premier Doug Ford prepares to announce the first stage of his reopening strategy this Thursday, restaurants across the province can expect to begin reopening under the condition that the only food to be consumed inside are meals that customers bring from home. 

Along with the BYOM policy, reopening guidelines for restaurants will also include limiting dining groups to four people or less, spacing tables at least 2 meters apart, and not allowing customers to bring in tuna salad.  

Customers will also not be allowed to ask restaurant staff for one of their plates to eat their food on, and will have to eat their meal out the permanently tomato sauce stained Tupperware container they brought it in. However, restaurants will be permitted to supply patrons with cutlery if they forget to pack a disposable fork that they have been reusing for far too long if proper sanitation protocols are followed afterwards.

This new announcement will join the list of countless other great and noble things the government has done to assist restaurant owners in this trying time, which includes: …

The province is advising restaurants to make some changes to current business practices to accommodate the new guidelines. They suggest replacing the host stand with a microwave for patrons to heat up their food, which will also allow customers to be greeted with a wafting combination of butter chicken, chili, and tilapia when entering the establishment.  

Restaurant’s currently offering takeout options will not be allowed to offer that food to dine-in customers. However, patrons are able to order takeout, bring it home, wait until the next day, put it in a different container, then take it to another restaurant and pretend they made fish and chips at home. 

“Well it’s not ideal, but I guess I can hope to make money from drink sales,” said sports bar owner Gord Heyes. Gord noted, however, that in the past most people who think it’s totally acceptable and normal to bring their own food into restaurants would also only ever order a hot water with lemon.

Carlie Jackson, a resident of the Liberty Village community and self-proclaimed “foodie”, says she is a fan of the new reopening guidelines. 

“I think it’s a fantastic idea! There’s been so many times my boyfriend has wanted sushi and I’ve wanted a Cuban sandwich and one of us would have to compromise. Now we can sit across from each other while eating two wildly different meals and it won’t be weird at all!”

Doug Ford said if anyone was looking for a dessert to bring to a restaurant, he makes a great cherry cheesecake and you can watch a video of him making it over on his Instagram page.

The province has stated phase 2 of their plan will allow restaurants to begin serving their own food as long as it isn’t prepared by any cook named “Greg”. 

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold