This Toronto Startup Has Just Invented A Car Engine That Runs Off Of Tears

By Scott Slute

Tech - Not sure what to do with all those useless tears your body keeps producing whenever you look at gas prices, or just think about anything in general? This Toronto-based tech company may have found your answer.

Started as a solution to the rising cost of fuel, the team at SadTech say they have harnessed a way to extract the energy produced by a good cry session and harness it into a renewable resource.

“It’s quite simple really. The same way that the heat produced during nuclear fission can power a generator, we’ve discovered that modern human tears are now so potent they can power a six cylinder engine,” company founder Tyler Woods explains, “We hope that if living conditions in this country continue to erode, we’ll be able to power small planes with tears by the year 2030.”

Using technology they invented to make whiskey more alcoholic while studying at McMaster, the three founders of SadTech are hopeful that millennial depression could be the renewable resource destined to save this planet.

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold