This Torontonian Is Here to Rescue Toronto from Gong’s “Here to Rescue Toronto” Signs

By Noa Garmaise

Toronto - Just days ahead of the mayoral election, this Toronto native has pledged to rescue Toronto from the seemingly self-duplicating Gong for Mayor signs which have taken over the city. The man responsible, Skipper Jackson, claims that he can bring much-anticipated salvation to the Torontonians affected.

“It’s enough already,” Mr. Jackson told us. “Signs are scattered along every major street, plastered on the sides of buses, looming over us in Dundas Square. Today I opened my phone and my lock screen was a Gong sign. If nobody wants to say it, I will. That’s too far.”

Mr. Jackson is taking a stand against the overwhelming signage in every corner of the city. To the left of each Gong sign, Mr. Jackson mounts a sign of his own which says ‘Don’t Vote for’, leading the two signs together to read ‘Don’t Vote for Gong’. Jackson claims the origin of this strategy stems from his middle school years and is not technically illegal.

Though Mr. Jackson actually caused a substantial increase in signs across the city, locals widely support these endeavors. Sheila LaCrosse of North York told us earlier this morning, “If no one interfered, I was gonna have to vote for Gong. Don’t know a thing about him except that he’s number 44 and the only name I can even remember. Seriously. Ask me to list any of the other candidates and I’d just be like... did I say Gong already?”

Nevertheless, Mr. Jackson wants to make one message clear—he is not running for mayor. He’s simply helping the city fight back on an issue that’s been building for a long time.

“I’m not a hero. I’m just a man who wants to save this city,” Mr. Jackson said. “When it’s time to make a difference you just feel it in your bones. For me, my call to action was like a sign from God. Or rather, many signs from Gong.”

When pressed if he had anything to say on the matter, mayoral candidate Gong declined to answer directly. He did however respond “Dear Toronto Harold: No comment at this time” via a rather expensive CP24 ad.

Noa Garmaise is a contributing writer at The Toronto Harold and a student at McGill University. Her work has appeared in The Hard Times, The McGill Tribune, and The Milking Cat.