Woman From 1960’s Reports Zero Changes to Lifestyle During Lockdown

By Scott Slute

New Rochelle - As the country continues intense lockdown procedures and social distancing measures to combat the spread of COVID-19, housewife from the 1960’s Donna Harold has noted absolutely no change to her usual routine.

The 24 year old mother of five said she is experiencing virtually no difference in her daily doings, which already included staying at home, not interacting with people, and only going out to get absolute essentials. 

“I’ve never been allowed to leave the house without permission,” said the fully grown adult woman Donna, as she enjoyed her fifth glass of afternoon wine. “And my husband already insisted I stand at least 6 feet away from someone to maintain decency. He says any closer and I might give them the wrong idea about my intentions.” 

While many struggle with the loneliness of not being able to interact with people while locked within their homes, Donna is carrying on with no problems. Her husband had already forbid her from opening the door while he was out, so it is very easy for her to continue not interacting with strangers.

And as many Americans are dealing with the temporary closing of their favorite bars and restaurants, Donna was blissfully unaware that had even happened. 

“Oh, I only get to go to a restaurant once a year when my husband takes me for our anniversary, and that was in February so I had no idea they were all closed!”   

One noted change for Donna has been the $1200 stimulus check she received. 

“I used to be responsible for feeding my family of seven on a budget of $8 a week, so this additional money makes a big difference” she said. 

The additional cash means she will be able to buy more groceries and now might actually get to enjoy some of the Sunday pot roast instead of just having salad and Chablis for dinner while lying to everyone about being on a diet.   

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold