Tim Horton’s Releases New “Improbable” Burger

Food - The iconic Canadian coffee chain is dipping their toes back in the waters of non-meat alternatives with their new “Improbable” burger, made almost entirely of not meat!

Following the success of sister company Burger King’s “Impossible Whopper”, Tim Horton’s announced they too will be releasing a burger made of mostly non-meat. The “Improbable” patty was created by Tim Horton’s and is derived from left over coffee grinds, soy, and various other fillers that almost 100% of the time aren’t meat.

This isn’t the first time the coffee giant has sold an alternative-protein sandwich. In 2019, the company released plant-based breakfast sandwiches, followed by a Beyond Meat burger in the following months. However, due to poor sales and the average Tim Horton’s customer referring to non-meat alternatives as “gay Liberal shit”, the company ended sales of the Beyond Meat products in early 2020.

A spokeswoman for the company tells us the new “Improbable” burger will appeal to the younger demographic who care about the impact of meat consumption but not enough to actually put in any work or research.

“We know that most people who eat non-meat protein alternatives don’t actually care about animal welfare,” the rep said, “Which is why we source our “Improbable” patty using the finest proteins that most of the time come from plants. Our lax screening process on where the protein is derived from allows us to keep the cost of the sandwich so low.”

The “Improbable” burger is available now at select locations across western Ontario. The company stated that if the burger was successful, they would be launching a new line of “Improbable” breakfast sandwiches to accompany their “freshly” cracked “eggs”.

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