Trump Builds Mini Putt Course In White House Bunker
By Scott Slute
Washington - Supreme Leader President Donald Trump has reportedly asked the Secret Service to construct a three hole mini putt course in the White House bunker so that the big guy can practice a lil’ putt putt while his country burns around him.
A source within the White House says that as civil unrest spreads across the country, the President will be exercising his top-notch leadership qualities by spending most of his time underground hiding from unarmed, peaceful protestors with names like Michael and Garrett.
The President will be hiding from his distraught citizens in an emergency bunker initially built to protect the sitting president in the event a foreign nation were to drop a nuclear bomb, which Trump has now repurposed to act as “safe space” for himself.
The course is reported to be a par 10, and will include a cool ramp, a small windmill, and even has a pirate themed hole that the President is the most excited about.
The source went on to say that due to the President’s limited attention span, he required a distraction to keep him from constantly trying to leave the bunker to get a snack.
Shadow President and human Gumby doll Jared Kushner suggested to Trump that the time he spends underground while he unleashes the military on his citizens would be an excellent opportunity for the President to practice his short game.
It is unclear if Trump, who has played 251 rounds of golf since taking office, will count each play through of the 3-round course as one round of golf, or if the President will have to play six times to bring up his total number of rounds.
Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold.