To Save Money On Investigating CERB Overpayments, The CRA Is Asking Everyone To Pay Back Half Their CERB

Ottawa - A new auditor general report has found that over $4.6 billion in CERB money went to ineligible people, and another $27 billion needs to be further investigated. The numbers are so staggeringly high that the Canadian Revenue Agency has said if everyone agrees to pay back half their money they’ll just call it even.

“Listen, numbers are really hard,” said Diane Lebouthillier, Minister of National Revenue, “We think the fairest thing to do is everyone who received CERB just gives us half the money back and we don’t have to waste any more of it investigating this mixup.”

The CRA says they’ve run the numbers, and based on past efficiency rates it’s probably just easier and cheaper for everyone to just cut their losses.

The CRA’s top analysis and brightest minds alternatively proposed that, as Canada has a population of 38 million, if everyone just agreed to mail them $10 that should cover the $30 billion in overpayments.

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau says he stands by his decision to give money to anyone who asked for it with no background checks, and says he hopes Canadians can show him the same courtesy.