US Military To Rename Saddam Hussein Airforce Base

By Scott Slute 

Bryson City - As pressure now mounts to rename American infrastructure named after Confederate generals and other historical enemies of the United States, the military announced today they will officially rename Saddam Hussein Air Force base located in North Carolina. 

Proponents of the name change argue that, much like naming a US military base after a Confederate general, it seems pretty goddamn weird that the military would name something after a man who sought to destroy the United States.

“I always felt a little uncomfortable coming to work everyday in a building named after a guy who was directly responsible for killing American soldiers like myself,” Officer Dwayne Stevens tells us. 

The Air Force has yet to announce who they will be naming the base after, but did confirm it will definitely not be named after an important figurehead of an enemy state that wanted to see America burned to the ground. 

Some people, however, are opposed to this name change arguing that Saddam Hussein was an important part of American history and by changing the name of the base he will be forgotten by history. 

“People only remember historical events and figures if we name roads and building after them. What do you expect people to just read about them?” argues Lieutenant Harold Carter “We tore down all the Nazi statues after World War 2 and look what’s happening in America right now!”

The movement to change controversially named building seems to be spreading across the country, as the CDC is reportedly in talks to rename the Josef Mengele Centre for Research. 

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold