Rush Limbaugh Successfully Goes A Full Day Without Relying On Oxycodone

Palm Beach - Following his death yesterday, Rush Limbaugh’s team has announced that the conservative media provocateur has gone a full 24 hours without having to rely on his crippling oxycodone dependency.

“I certainly miss him but at least he isn’t passed out in a synthetic-heroine induced coma rambling about the gays all day,” said Limbaugh’s widow.

State turned for continued updates on Limbaugh’s current state of sobriety.