Freedom-Loving Nation Exercises Freedom By Taking Freedom Away From 50.8% Of Population

By Gabriel Venneri

Washington - Roe v Wade, which protected a woman's right to abortion in the United States, was officially overturned earlier today. The land of the free's lawmakers are very proud to be taking away freedom from more than half of their population.

"We're the freest country in the world, and we have exercised that freedom to take away the freedoms of women all over the country, because we were free to do so." Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett, "In this country you are free to do things like buy a gun and carry it proudly, or do pretty much whatever you want with basically no consequences, as long you hold a position of power. We don't like restricting our citizen's freedom, unless you're a woman and need to terminate your pregnancy in a safe clinical setting. It is our God given right to say no to that."