Freedom Loving Sea-Doo’ers Announce Protest As Soon As The Rideau Canal Thaws

By Scott Slute

Ottawa - As the country’s capital prepares for a group of motorcycling protestors to arrive this weekend, another group of personal watercraft enthusiasts say they are organizing a convoy of their own that is expected to take place in mid-July after the Rideau canal fully thaws.

Organizers of the “Sea-DON’T Step On My Freedoms” convoy say that as soon as all the ice and snow has left Ottawa, at least 15 fun and freedom loving protestors will be heading down the capital’s main waterway to protest whatever the hot-button issue is of the summer.

“We’ve had to sit back all winter watching the truckers, and now the motorcyclists, show off their cool rides everyday on the news, while my 2018 Sea-Doo Wake 155 has just been sitting in my garage,” says Sea-Doo convoy organizer Gary White, “Well guess what? There are angry Canadians who can only use their secondary vehicle for two months out of the year. And by golly, as soon as the weather warms up we’ll be right there in the capital too.”

As the world’s second-coldest capital city, known to reach as low as -40°C, Ottawa has a natural defence system to protect itself from water-loving protestors. Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has stated he put in place the cold weather as a way to protect Canadians.

Sea-Doo’ers have stated that once they have at least 3 nice days in a row they will launch their Sea-Doo’s from Britannia Beach, or if they have a smaller engine and are worried about not making it all the way to Parliament they can just set it in by the skate rental shop. They announced their plan to bring enough ice cold Molson Canadians and hot dogs to live in the Rideau Canal for at least 4 days.

Scott Slute is the Editor in Chief at The Toronto Harold